Saturday, February 18, 2017

Here's Your Sign

In my career, my feelings regarding success are...

I feel I must succeed at any cost and am willing to do anything to achieve it.

As long as the check doesn't bounce, I'm cool. To me, work is just one aspect of life.

I would like to succeed but am not willing to sell my soul for it.

I feel I deserve success and will be successful in any endeavour.

I see my boss as...

Someone to work with and help me as long as she or he is not too domineering.

Someone to look up to. I like my boss and strive to be in his or her position.

Just another bloke. Bosses are a fact of life.

A bourgeois capitalist pig who will be the first one against the wall when the revolution comes. They will keep me down unless they respect my autonomy.

In my relationships with my coworkers, I feel...

They are important to me as a support for me and my work (as long as they do as I say).

They can help me polish an idea or project but can also drag down my work.

They are just another bunch of blokes. I enjoy my coworkers if they are not overly serious or stressful.

I like my coworkers as long as they don't try to dominate the workplace.

When picking a career, I look for...

Independence and a laidback atmosphere.

Stability in a company, financial gain, and a friendly environment.

A dynamic work environment with lots of opportunity for advancement.

A job that allows me a certain degree of freedom, autonomy, and the ability to express myself.

During my lunch hour, I...

Am out at a restaurant having nachos and a beer.

Am working on my personal projects like art, music, and writing.

Am using the time to pick up my dry cleaning or working ahead.

Am the center of the conversation in the lunch room.

I arrive at work...

Early, but leave early.

Early and stay late.

Late, but stay late.

Whenever I arrive is on time.

Things I have stolen from work include...

My coworker's client list but not physical items.

Laptops, light bulbs, copper wire from the wall, anything that's not bolted down.

Drinks on the expense report and paper clips.

Only big items I know I can get away with.

My obligation toward work is...

I need my job for money, but my real obligation is to myself.

I want to have the reputation as doing my best, but deep down I don't care.

I feel obligated to do my best and succeed.

I do my work so I deserve to get paid.

When I quit a job, I...

Leave well liked and on good terms.

Send around a goodbye e-mail thanking everyone.

Burn my bridges and tell everyone to piss off.

Quietly walk away, but fantasize about burning the place down.

When I go on vacation...

I check in occasionally, but prefer not to.

I never check my messages or e-mail. Whatever it is can wait.

I try not to check in but can't help thinking about work.

I am in constant contact and check messages daily.

In a lover or spouse, I look for...

Someone who supports and adores me.

A true partner, someone who challenges me.

A loving, easygoing partner.

Fun, love, and sex.

Dating is...

A fun way to meet people and possibly get some action.

A pain in the neck.

An opportunity for me to be charming and adored.

A huge waste of time. We should cut right to a stiflingly codependent relationship.

In a long-term relationship, I tend to be...

Codependent at the expense of my other relationships.

Stable and avoid relationship drama.

Committed but not overly analytical about my feelings.

The dominant partner and the center of attention. We do what I want.

After a breakup, I...

Am also hurt and have a period of quiet reflection.

Am hurt (especially my ego) and wonder why someone would give me up.

Am emotionally crushed and often drunkenly call my ex.

Realize it wasn't meant to be and recover quickly.

During sex, I am...

A top.

A bottom.

A top, bottom, or side.

Tied to the bedpost.

On a first date...

I find myself in Vegas getting married by Elvis. I quickly think he or she is "the one."

I read him or her some of my poetry, and I am very open about my feelings. I, too, quickly think he or she is "the one."

I just want to go out and have a good time.

I try to be myself but have trouble showing my true personality.

When I propose marriage...

It's going to be a grand gesture such as on the Dodgers' scoreboard or while we're sky-diving.

It will be because we can't stand it anymore and must be together. My proposal will be hopelessly romantic and memorable.

It's either because I knocked her up or am on hard drugs.

I have thought about the ramifications and realize I truly want it.

I view sex as...

A way to express myself and the spiritual union with my partner.

An intimate expression of love and a way to get me rocks off.

A way to achieve love and affirmation.

A fun way to relax and feel good.

My thoughts on infidelity are...

I'm not willing to cheat because I don't want to be viewed as that sort of person.

It's easier to be monogamous than cheat on my lover. I like to keep my love life simple.

If I believe in the relationship, I will be monogamous. But if I don't truly care, I'm willing to cheat.

If it feels good, do it.

Complete this sentence: I hate ______, I love ______.

War, strong women.

Ex-girlfriends, new girlfriends.

Egomaniacal jerks, deep breathing.

Myself, myself.

When it comes to raising children...

I can be a terrible or amazing parent. If the circumstances are right, I will be a dedicated and loving mom or dad but if I'm forced into parenthood, I can also be distant.

Kids are a fun, important aspect of my life. They should not, however, interfere too much with my marriage and other pursuits.

I will love my kids, if I choose to have them. I am likely to see my children as friends when they grow a little older.

I just love kids and am or will be a dedicated mother or father.

Family is important to me because...

They bring me joy.

They are friends and people who share my interests and beliefs.

I love my family deeply and they support me.

They are the only people I can trust and count on in life.

Which describes your role in your family?

I am just one member of the family. We share decisions and responsibilities.

I'm head of the family. I often plan activities, vacations, and family rules.

I'm just here for the beer. I'm happy to let others worry about the Thanksgiving centerpiece or yell at the kids for not washing their hands.

Deep down I feel I'm the head of the family, but if people want to take intiative, that's fine by me.

When I was growing up, my mother and father were...

Supportive and loving. I got very lucky.

Worried about me. We didn't always get along.

Very giving. They gave me a great deal of freedom.

They weren't perfect, but my parents did the best they could and I don't blame them for much.

An ideal family vacation is...

A romantic get-away with just me and the old lady (or man).

Lying on a beach in the Caribbean.

Travelling all together, possibly in an RV or boat.

Seeing nature or culturally significant places.

Do you owe a debt to society?

Anyone as talented and brilliant as me owes a debt to society.

I'm lucky to be literate, fed, and employed. Life could be a lot worse.

I don't owe the world anything. Life is inherently unfair.

I didn't know I borrowed any money. Honestly, I don't give it a great deal of thought. In the words of that famous philosopher, "I am what I am."

Is stealing ever justifiable?

Stealing is wrong. It hurts others.

I wouldn't steal; I'd just ask for it if I could. Stealing is a last resort.

Stealing isn't 100% wrong. If you have to steal formula for a hungry baby, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Sure. I nick things all the time. Wal-Mart isn't going to miss a few XBox games.

You've arrested a suspected terrorist. He may be aware of when and where a terrorist attack will occur but will only reveal the truth through painful torture. Would you torture him?

If he's only a suspected terrorist, he might also just be an innocent person. How can I be sure he really knows something about an imminent attack? I'm just not 100% sure.

Yes. First of all, he's a terrorist and deserves to be tortured. Second, by torturing him, I will get information that can save lives. Not doing so would mean the death of others.

Yes. It might secretly be enjoyable.

Couldn't somebody else, like Jack Bauer, do this?

Is there such a thing as right and wrong?

Who knows? These ethical questions are annoyingly pretentious.

I'm not sure. I believe in right and wrong, but I'm not sure they are absolutes.

They are subjective. Time, culture, and experience play an important role in determining these ideas.

There is an objective right and wrong. For instance, it is wrong to commit murder or rape.

Is it ever acceptable to lie?

Since I often speak off the cuff, I rarely tell little white lies.

I try not to lie, but sometimes it's unavoidable. Little white lies are okay.

I lie all the time. Lying can save other people's feelings and my butt.

Omission isn't technically lying. I'll lie to save people's feelings and cover my ass at work.

Do you believe in God?

I believe in God and am confident He exists.

If there is a God, He (or She) is more of a higher power or a set of moral truths.

I'm not honestly sure. Part of me hopes there is a God, but I'm not positive.

There is no God. Religion is just opium for the masses.

What is God like?

God is whatever you want him to be.

God is very much human. He is imperfect but also has positive traits such as humour.

God is more of a force or idea. I don't see God as a literal person.

I see God as a stoic person who created us in His own image. He is upset when we sin.

Complete this sentence: I am ______ spiritual ______ religious.

Am spiritual but not religious.

Am both spiritual and religious.

Am somewhat spiritual and somewhat religious.

Am neither spiritual nor religious.

As a kid, I saw church as...

An annoying waste of time my parents dragged me to.

I made it fun, whether through friends or having my own good time.

A fun time. I have many positive memories of church.

A mixed memory. I enjoyed the social aspect of church but couldn't buy into all of its rules and rituals.

Do pets go to heaven?

If there is a heaven, absolutely.

Yes or they are reborn.

No, animals don't have souls like humans.

Little Fluffy might not get into heaven?

How are you with money?

I'm very good with money. I am rarely broke.

I'm pretty good with money, but I can also justify unnecessary purchases.

I'm good with money, but there are times it just seems to fly out of my pocket.

I like to spend money and sometimes it gets me into trouble.

At the end of the month...

There's a good chance I'll come out a bit short.

I can tell you how much I will have left almost to the penny.

I don't keep track of my finances too closely, but I know I will come out ahead most months.

I'm okay because I tend to have a nice reserve.

What do you spend on your vacations?

I like to relax and feel very comfortable on my vacations. I travel in style which doesn't come cheap.

Since I live frugally, I can afford most reasonable vacations.

I tend to spend a bit too much on my holidays, but I am willing to stay in a cheap motel if it gets me where I want to be.

Senor Frog's has my photo up behind the bar.

If you won the lottery, you would...

Never work my crappy job again. See ya, suckers!

Use the money to make myself financially secure even if it meant not changing my lifestyle for the better

Enjoy some of the money. I deserve a really nice car and house.


How much did you spend on your last car?

It's just a car. I got the best I could afford.

I love nice things so I bought a nice car. It might have been a bit out of my budget.

I bought an inexpensive, yet environmentally friendly car.

I budgeted for my car and am happy with my purchase.

What kind of setting makes you the most comfortable?

A group of friends and other people who think I am clever. In work, I prefer to go it alone or with a partner.

Large gatherings and parties. In work, I prefer places with a certain amount of regimentation.

I try to avoid party settings and prefer intimate gatherings. In work, I prefer to work alone.

Parties are good, but so are small groups. At work, I enjoy being part of a team, especially if they appreciate me.

Who do you turn to in time of need?

Only a couple of very trusted people. I don't trust everyone with all the details of my life. I often compartmentalize people for different things.

I turn to my very trusted friends. I don't feel they will judge me.

No one at all. Maybe a trusted mother figure.

Everyone. Friends, parents, coworkers.

What genre of books do you enjoy?

Romance novels, photography books, young adult novels. I'm not a huge reader.

Fiction and nonfiction on topics that interest me.

Nonfiction, spirituality. I enjoy reading about people and the human condition.

Mysteries, thrillers, science fiction, and anything that is enjoyable. I don't read books to make myself look cool.

How politically aware are you?

I like candidates like Dennis Kucinich or Ron Paul (depending on political tastes). I focus more on causes like the environment, abortion, and war.

I'm not overly political. I'm aware of major candidates and elections but might have a hard time quoting policy.

Sometimes I vote, sometimes I forget. I'm more interested in local politics.

I have a strong interest in politics but have a pragmatic attitude towards candidates. There's just no way a half-literate actor could become president (oh, wait).

If you were to commit suicide...

I would never commit suicide. I just couldn't do it.

I would have to do it in a painless way.

I'd only do it to save my children or if I were terminally ill.

I'd take everyone with me first.

John: {{John}}%
Paul: {{Paul}}%
George: {{George}}%
Ringo: {{Ringo}}%

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